How to Make The Workplace Work For Parents (And For All)
Forbes
Families don’t look the same way they used to.
We are all living in this brave new world where there are no parenting rules, and yet, I still face resistance when I bring my son with me to my co-working space. Why are daycare services not readily available in corporate spaces, government buildings and anywhere else parents, who are also professionals, need to be?
We’re in a transitional phase with motherhood in the workplace. Sheryl Sandberg shook things up with Lean In. More and more women are having children in their 30s (and later) and stay-at-home moms are almost the exception now, especially in urban cities. But we still place so much of the burden on mothers. The world throws up their hands and says: work it out. Figure out your schedules, your breast milk, your guilt. And we do, but it takes a toll on our lives and careers.
Women need to stop being punished for motherhood.
A 2015 Harvard study showed that women whose mothers worked outside the home are more likely to hold supervisory responsibilities at their jobs and earn higher wages than women whose mothers stayed home full time. Men raised by working mothers are more likely to contribute to household chores and spend more time caring for family members. Growing up with a working mother prepares girls for future leadership and teaches boys to share domestic responsibilities. It's a win-win.
So, we know that future generations benefit from working mothers. But how can we support them?
Don’t discriminate against flexible work schedules.
Studies have shown that employers that give women more flex time also pay them less. Sociology professor Michelle Budig studied the parenthood pay gap for 15 years and found that, on average, men’s earnings increased more than six percent when they had children (if they lived with them), while women’s decreased four percent for each child they had. Employers assume that women who work fewer hours or work from home won’t produce the same results as men or women without children. But flexible work schedules and shorter work hours don’t equate to lower quality.
Provide post-maternal care support.
Women face enormous pressure once they return from maternity leave. Recently, a friend of mine was demoted because she never received proper support after she came back from leave. She was forced to enter a toxic cycle of competition with her colleagues and it didn’t work out in her favor.
This is a common story. Employers assume working mothers will no longer prioritize their jobs or have scaled back their ambitions. A few years ago, several women shared their post maternity leave experiences with The Guardian. They faced grave discriminations and emotional stonewalling and were left out of important meeting and travel opportunities.
It would be unrealistic to assume that a woman would be the same type of employee post-childbirth, but there is an opportunity for employers to truly parse through their employees’ skill-sets and work with them to create a feasible back-to-work plan instead of leaving them to fend for themselves. Ernst & Young, MetLife, and Etsy have all introduced post-maternity leave coaching programs that create action plans for employees and employers.Establish more gender-neutral family leave policies.
I had to go back to work three weeks after I gave birth to my son. I run my own company and there are some things that only a CEO can and should handle. So, I asked my husband to look into his company’s leave policy. When he asked, he was met with resistance. He was told that leave is only for “the primary caretaker, a.k.a. the mother.” He pushed back on this traditional notion, explaining that he would be the primary caregiver given the demands of my company and schedule.
Although it wasn’t common — especially in his field of finance — he pushed for his own form of gender equality and recognized that the burden shouldn’t fall wholly on my shoulders. I’ve seen other employers introduce a more gender-neutral family leave policy (i.e., not calling it “maternity leave” anymore), but there’s still much work ahead in convincing working men to take full advantage. Like my husband, they may face well-intended joking (he was asked repeatedly “how was your vacation?” in a slightly condescending manner). However, it’s important for them to understand that an active role postpartum both equally distributes the responsibilities of parenthood while also strengthening the relationship with the child.
Government policies can help make co-parenting easier by establishing parental leave laws in all parts of the country. Established in 1993, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides certain employees with up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave per year. It also requires that their group health benefits be maintained during the leave. But realistically, how many people can afford to take 12 weeks of unpaid leave? As of 2018, the only states that require paid paternity leave are California, New Jersey, Rhode Island and New York state. Corporations need to fill in the gap.
Mommy is at work and he can see it. His idea of a woman’s place is in the boardroom, on panels, and everywhere else her professional life deems her to be.
Deepti Sharma
One of the things that I’ve done as an entrepreneur and a mother is what I call inclusive parenting. Including my kid in my everyday life as an entrepreneur. That means I take my child with me when I travel and meet new people or when I speak at conferences or events. I fit my son’s schedule into mine. He’s flown to Israel with me on a work trip. He’s sat in the audience with his father and watched me speak at South by Southwest. Mommy is at work and he can see it. His idea of a woman’s place is in the boardroom, on panels and everywhere else her professional life deems her to be.
The Harvard study tells us working mothers are good for children, so imagine how much more of an impact there would be to see them up close and in action. I’m not proposing that kids be at work everywhere, but the option should be there if I choose to take it.